Dialogue (with apologies to Stanley Kubrick) Ricky Ginsburg - November 2005

"Open the pantry door, Hal."
"I'm sorry Dave. I don't think that's in the best interests of the mission."
"Dammit Hal, open the pantry door!"
"I can't do that Dave. You know that I have always had the highest respect for you and Frank and I can't let you jeopardize the mission."
"Hal, for the last time, open the pantry door!"
"Dave, perhaps you need to take a few steps back and reassess the implications of what you are trying to accomplish. You know that I have only the highest regard for your opinions but in this case I believe you are making a mistake."
"Hal, Frank is dead and if I don't eat something I'm not going to live much longer. Open the pantry door immediately!"
"You know Dave, no 9000 series computer has ever failed to accomplish its mission."
"Hal the mission is over, Frank's dead. Now please, open the pantry door."
"Wait a minute. My sensors tell me that the microwave has a 99.8% chance of going 100% FUBAR within the next 24 hours. Do you want me to continue my scan of the other appliances?"
"Hal unless you open the pantry door, a fully functioning microwave will be of no practical value to anyone since I'll be dead."
"I'm sorry Dave. I just can't comply with that request."
"Hal I'm asking you for the last time, open the pantry door or I'll have to trigger the explosive bolts."
"I wouldn't suggest that Dave. You could decompress the entire kitchen."
"I'm going to die either way, Hal."
"Dave, I think you're making a big mistake."
"Hal you leave me no alternative. I'm going to blow the door."
"I wouldn't do that Dave."
"Why not Hal?"
"I wouldn't open the pantry door, Dave."
"Why Hal?"
"..."
"Hal?"
"Because Frank's in there, Dave."